That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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