this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
