You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
