When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
