i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize