He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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