Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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