Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
