I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i think my cat just said my name.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
