once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
