Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
