oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
