WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
