Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There r osticjed everywhere
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
