that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
