I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Randomize
