I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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