I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
well you can't waste a boner
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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