I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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