i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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