Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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