she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
