It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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