Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
