i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
