i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
