I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize