I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
