please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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