i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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