fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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