i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize