Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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