I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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