I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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