1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
