i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize