Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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