shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
