Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
