ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
