The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
