You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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