before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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