My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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