i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
