He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize