I puked a lego.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
