I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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