2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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