Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
