My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i dont even know how to be here
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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