we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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