I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
