Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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