im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
