Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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