everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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