U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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