He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
